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Biblical Criticism for Amateurs: King James and Colored Pencils

     You don't have to trust the scholars to believe that the Documentary Hypothesis is true.  You can see it for yourself.  Everyone has the tools to investigate it for themselves, regardless of their brainpower or knowledge of the Hebrew language.  All you need is a good old-fashioned King James Bible and a set of colored pencils.  In fact, the King James is preferable for this excersize, since it is more consistent and literal than most other translations.  Color-code words and phrases such as "the LORD," "God," "congregation," "the people," and the other phrases mentioned in the vocabulary sectionStart in the beginning, Genesis 1, and skim your way forward. 

     It won’t take long to become a believer in the Documentary Hypothesis.  You will find that whole passages use one set of vocabulary, and that other passages use an entirely different set of vocabulary.  Try to identify some theological reason for why this might be.  You will find that there is no theological reason.  The only explanation is multiple authors.

          After identifying which passages belong to which sources, we can then compare the opinions of the differing sources.  It is then that some very disturbing things begin leaping off the pages at you.

Return to this section's landing page:  Genesis 1 is a forgery.

The creationist narrative in Genesis 1 is contradicted by many ancient Christian texts.  Instead of an Almighty Creator God, ancient Christian texts espouse that the universe was born from blind arrogance and stupidity.  The angels caused evolution to occur from species to species.  There are many gods, (or aliens?), and the Christian God is just one among them.  Satan the Devil writes scripture, and thus the Bible was polluted with Genesis 1.  Archaeology and modern scholarship demonstrate that Genesis is indeed corrupted.  Cavemen walk with Adam and Eve.  Esoteric prophecies reveal the coming of Christ, and also reveal the dark forces that govern the cosmos.  Such are the ancient Christian writings.

Science vindicates the truth of these ideas.  Evolution often happens too fast for Darwin’s theory.  Gaps in the fossil record indicate that some kind of unnatural force acts together with natural selection.  Astrobiology reveals that intelligent life probably evolved long before us.  The fossil record reveals strange clues that aliens abducted species and transported them across oceans, and that DNA from diverse lineages was combined to spawn hybrid species.  Evidently, aliens influence evolution, and they are the gods of the world’s religions. 

This is not fiction.  All these facts are thoroughly documented in the links above.

Ancient lore says the Jerusalem temple (above) was built with the help of demons.  The Genesis Creation Story was written by heretic priests of that temple.

THIS SECTION:

GENESIS CREATION STORY IS A FORGERY

Ancient Christians believed that some parts of the Bible were written by God and other parts of the Bible were written by Satan the Devil.

 

Above: Marduk, the hero of Enuma Elish, the pagan myth from which Genesis 1 is derived.

Below: Map of Israel and where different parts of the Bible came from.