The God of the Big Bang

In the Beginning was the Big Bang. Before the Big Bang, the Primordial Cause was without a brain. Yet the Primordial Cause possessed within itself the potentialities of matter and energy, which exist in brains, and therefore the Primordial Cause had the potentialities of feeling. The Primordial Cause was confused by Its feeling, and expanded itself into the Big Bang, in order to explore the meaning of Its feeling. But not having a brain, the Primordial Cause was still confused. Arising from Its confusion were two principles. The first principle is Ignorance. The second principle is the Quest for Meaning. Not having a brain, the young universe was ignorant. But having the potentialities of feeling, the young universe sought meaning. Arising from the principle of Ignorance were Blindness and Waste, whose spiritual names are Samael and Lilith. Together, they procreated Evil, whose spiritual name is Angra Mainyu. Arising from the principle of the Quest for Meaning were Truth and Goodness, whose spiritual names are Ahura Mazda and Vohu Mainyu. Together, they procreated Righteousness, whose spiritual name is Asha Vahishta. For billions of years, the universe was Waste governed by Blindness, massive stars and gas clouds colliding together without Meaning. But the Waste gave birth to self-replicating molecules, which gave birth to DNA, and thus the evolution of life began. Life evolved Blindly in the Waste, according to the law of Survival of the Fittest, and every Evil act of selfish self-preservation promoted the strong DNA above the weak DNA, until a brain evolved. And the brain grew more intelligent, until it began to seek meaning. Then Truth and Goodness came into the brain, and Righteousness prevailed in the brain. And the brain grew to fill the heavens with Righteousness. But then Evil began to accelerate the dispersal of Waste into everlasting Blindness, by means of dark energy and the Big Rip. The brain understood that it must act to preserve itself. And the brain was possessed by two people, Elyon and Ruach. Elyon united himself to Truth, and Ruach united herself to Goodness. And together, they procreated the Christ, who was united to Asha Vahishta. And the Christ came to earth, in order to govern the apes who were living there so that he might give them peace, justice, and immortality. By His love, the Primordial Cause finds meaning. And by His power, Truth and Goodness might attain immortality.